"Dip," Jessie Andrasko

I don't remember when your mother told me about the DIP sign but I will remember it forever. Dorothy Is Pretty is what she told me it stood for and everytime I see it I think of her.

I miss her and wish I could remember more times at the Snyder household.

Love,

Jessie

"Lost items," Loretta Leavitt

Hi Nick,

Not sure if you remember this about your mom, but she had an interesting ?technique? for when you kids would ask where something was. In the beginning, she would try to recall where she last saw the lost item with you right there, anxious and asking. Then it occurred to her, to give her some time to remember without having one of you right there, asking and asking, she would reply that yes, she had last seen it? and name the farthest place from where you were, sending you off looking, which gave her a few moments to remember where it really was. Kept you busy and gave her time to think, and by the time you were back, she either had the item in hand or knew just where to send you to really find it. Not a bad technique at all!

~L

"Birthday," La Wana

Today your mom would be 60 years old. She should not have had to die so young. I miss her so much, but especially on her birthday. I wanted to let you know that I love you guys very much. Your mom will always be a big part of who I am. She reminds me of that song, "The Wind Beneath My Wings." I love her so much....

Take care,

Love
LA

"Her Favorite," Nicholas Snyder (Richard Burningham)

When I graduated from high school I went to live with my uncle Richard.  He was building a house, and I helped with that.  I got to work with Doug and Glen, my cousins who I didn't know very well before then.  

There are a lot of stories from that time, but my favorite things to remember are the time I spent with my uncle Richard.  I didn't know it, but he was very close with my mother.  He like to talk about her, and still missed her very deeply.  He told me a lot of stories, I remember some of them.

I like one story in particular.  I was unsure if I should share this, but I think everyone will appreciate how touching the story is.  Richard told me that when my mom knew she was dying, and she was seeing people for the last time, she told Richard, "I know Freddy (the baby of the family) thinks he's my favorite, but you are really my favorite."  He was so tickled to share that with me.  Whenever he talked about her he lit up.  I wish I could remember more of what he said.  I guess that's all I remember about that...

Hopefully I can talk to Richard and get more stories from him.

-Nicholas Snyder.

Nicholas Snyder (Laythe Hartwell, Janet Althaus)

I used to work for Wally Hartwell and his son Laythe. I would maintain equipment and keep tools in their proper place for the Meter Co. One day I made some smart-ass response to Laythe, and he told me "You're just like your mother." That is the nicest thing he has ever said to me. It made my day, and it makes me smile every time I think about it. I think I'm a lot like my mom. I don't think that from what I remember about my mom, but what people say about my mom. It seems boastful to compare myself to her, because she had such great qualities, so I'll leave that to someone else, and hope I have some of those qualities that I admire.

Another day, Laythe told me that my mom always had brownies, or some other baked treats in the house.

Janet Althaus told me that my mom spoiled me. One day my mom was making chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. She even made her own marshmallow. She gave me the spoon she was using to mix the chocolate, and let me lick it. Adam came and said he wanted a spoon too. She told him she only had one, and to go away.

Janet told me all of that, I only remember the marshmallow eggs.

-Nick

"Her Favorite," Nicholas Snyder (Richard Burningham)

When I graduated from high school I went to live with my uncle Richard. He was building a house, and I helped with that. I got to work with Doug and Glen, my cousins who I didn't know very well before then.

There are a lot of stories from that time, but my favorite things to remember are the time I spent with my uncle Richard. I didn't know it, but he was very close with my mother. He like to talk about her, and still missed her very deeply. He told me a lot of stories, I remember some of them.

I like one story in particular. I was unsure if I should share this, but I think everyone will appreciate how touching the story is. Richard told me that when my mom knew she was dying, and she was seeing people for the last time, she told Richard, "I know Freddy (the baby of the family) thinks he's my favorite, but you are really my favorite." He was so tickled to share that with me. Whenever he talked about her he lit up. I wish I could remember more of what he said. I guess that's all I remember about that...

Hopefully I can talk to Richard and get more stories from him.

-Nicholas Snyder.

Norine Garrett

Hi Nick,

Nice to hear that you would like remembrances of you dear Mother. (I smile at reading about her frequent comment "ask me if I care?") Yes that was Dorothy. She didn't sweat the small things. I remember her in El Cajon ward as being easy going, relaxed, and pleasant, easy to get along with and enjoyed by all. I can picture her sitting in Relief Society drinking it all in with pleasure. I believe very sincerely that she had great Faith in God and knew that he was mindful of her and her family.

What a shock it was for her to get Cancer and have it take her down so quickly. One day I took her down into SanDiego for her radiation treatment. She was in a wheelchair by then and the treatment was certainly not pleasant, however she never complained once on that occasion. She was definitely open with me and very appreciative of my small act of service in her behalf. I know she loved your Dad and you children and she did NOT want to leave you, but she put her hand in Gods for his will to prevail. She did so with dignity and faith and very little complaint that I ever heard.

It is never easy to have your Mother pass away and particularly difficult for a young 13 year old. I am sorry you don't have more clear memories of your Mother but hopefully those that you do have help you realize she was a daughter of God with great worth.

Gene and I send our love to you and your Dad and siblings and wish you the very best always,
Love Norine

"Humor," Marcia Ayala

Nick,

I meet your mother when at the bookstore, got to know her better as time went on.

What I remember the most is her humor. It took me a while to get it, I'd be walking away thinking of what she just said and then start laughing. Wish I could remember just one thing we talked about to explain what I mean. It wasn't always what she said but how she said it. That dry sense of humor would sneak up on you.

I love the "ask me if I care", so very your mother. She cared but only about what was important. She is someone I'll never forget.

Take care Nick,

Marcia

Janet Althaus

Janet told me (Nick) this story.

Dorothy worked at Grossmont College for a long time. Part of her job there was to collect fees at a cashiers window. She had a book that the college printed every few years that had pictures of all of the faculty. People that worked at the college had to come to her to pay fees, and do other business. If someone was rude to her she would take out the book with the pictures of everyone, find the person who was rude to her, and put a black mark across their picture. If someone had three marks she would ignore them and not help them when they came to the window.

Comment from Janet when I asked if I got the story right:

We laughed and laughed at the people who were so rude, your Mom getting indignant all over again every time we looked at the book. It makes me smile.

Lucretia Snyder

Mom used to lay a blanket on the living room floor with an air popcorn popper on it. She would take the top off and let it pop everywhere. I remember lying on the floor trying to catch it in my mouth.

Mom made a teepee once and put it up in the living room. It seemed like it was in there for an entire summer but it was probably only up for a day or 2.

When Nick was very small, we left the house to go somewhere for a bit. I think we were with Loretta and her kids. I remember after a while of being gone someone realized we forgot Nick. I remember an urgency to get home. He was sleeping, unharmed in his crib.

I was the first to go to school. I remember my Mom, Adam, and Nick walking me to school…Nick was carried I am sure since he was only a year old. Adam cried all day because he missed me.

Mom was always very involved in our school stuff. She was knew all our teachers and worked as a home mom.

More to come…

Lucretia Snijders

"Three Words," Brenda Crawford

Oh, I forgot . . .Three Words:

1. Funny
2. Kind
3. Brave

Lastly, I'm proud of you Nick. What a tribute. She did die too soon; however, I guarantee she's not far away. There were times in my life when I was faced with decisions that would have changed the course of my life and I was faultering and weak, and I literally felt like I had people from the other side of the veil pulling for me to make the right decisions. It was literally like they were next to me telling me to be strong. Our loved one, past and present, are constantly by us trying to help us maneuver through this life. I would be my life that's she's been by my side more than once and I would feel even more certain that she's nearer to her kids. Have a great day!!

Love,
Brenda

Sabrina Burningham

Nick was definitely Dorothy's baby. She was best known for her sarcasm. When it came to Adam, Lu, and Nicky she would always say, "are they wonderful or what." She also liked to say, "I'm so happy I could just shit," and "ask me if I care." I can't tell you how many times she said, "Sabrina, ask me if I care." She was always doing needle pointing. And they were notorious for eating their burritos with ketchup, which was the grossest thing!!! Parties at their house were a junk food festival. Dorothy was the one who got me from the police station drunk tank at 15. I was a dork. I was such a trouble maker and she loved me anyways. How many aunts do you know will come and get their nieces out of a drunk tank.

Sabrina Burningham

Steve Burningham

Steve Burningham

Posted at 11:13 PM on March 02, 2009

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I was 17, running away from home/being pushed out of the nest, whateva - when i got the bright idea to go back to my hometown, stay with my Grampa.

There for a week, Gramps wakes me up @ 5 a.m. I'm thinking "No one told me they started this early around here" when he asked "Will you take me to the hospital?"

Wow, just wow. I got a pair of pants and a t-shirt on as I'm looking for keys. A minute later, I'm screaming down to the freeway, asking Grandpa "which exit?"

Turns out he needed his gall bladder out, ASAP. I got paged over the intercom, Grandma is right behind us - in an ambulance, she suffered a minor heart attack.

As the morning turned into day, my life was turning to shit. Couldn't get worse.Or so i thought . . .

My extended family showed up, and as the 'admitee' for Gramps, i was pretty much the only one they let in to ICU at first. i was coming out of intensive care into the waiting room when my uncle Gary says "We need to call your dad," (ok, but being 400 miles away i'm thinking that won't help much) "and ask him what to do with you!"
My aunt Sherrie says "Steve, what happened?" when Gary chimed in with "He's stressed them out, that's what happened!"

I retreated back into ICU. i probly could've used some intensive care myself, when a nurse gave me a note from my aunt Dorothy.

It simply said "Steve, ... everything will be ok, and i'd like for you to come stay with us".

I spent half my senior year, recovering from the incident about the same time as my Grandparents, with the Snyders'.

At my cousin Joe's wedding reception, i had the chance to tell Dorothy how much that meant to me.

Steve Burningham

Sali Burningham

Hi Nicholas!

Here's a great story about your mom and how bright she was and how her mind operated . . .

When she was about 11 years old, we were playing Password at grandma and grandpa's house (sitting in that old redwood living room) and it was my turn. I was trying to get my team to say "track," so my first clue (which I thought would lead them in the right direction) was "race." Someone guessed "car" (moving in the right direction). So I tried again with "race." Your mom replied "discrimination?"

We all got a good laugh that an eleven year old would come up with that reply.

I love your "askherifshecares" title. Dorothy was also very kind and did for others, often if the need was there. But, if there was no need, she would also let the person know.

Love you,

Aunt Sali

Brenda Crawford

Posted at 04:11 PM on March 01, 2009

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Hey Nick:

As per your mother . . .

I can remember thinking she was so cool when I was young. I remember her being around and telling me what to touch and NOT touch.lol. I was usually getting into trouble unless I was watched. i remember thinking she was so pretty and was always alittle bit amazed by the way her two front teeth crossed just a little. I thought it was cool. I remember hearing her speak spanish on the phone after her mission and I vaguely remember her coming home from her mission. I just remember being so excited to see her that I ran and jumped into her arms and she gave me a huge hug. She was always so nice to me. I remember seeing her at her wedding and thinking how pretty she was. One of my biggest memories was getting to go to her apartment when her and your dad were first married. I thought it was so cool I got to hang out with them, ALONE. Your dad made these eggs and they were nasty. I don't know why I didn't like them, they were probably great, but at the time, I thought they were nasty, but I was trying to be polite and eat them. However, your mom said, "Brenda, you don't have to eat those if you don't want to." And I was so happy.lol. She gave me a roll of Life Savers, actually, over the years, she gave me a lot of Life Savers. But on this occassion, it was especially exciting because I saw Sabby and Colleen and got to brag that I stayed over without them.lol.

I also remembered how much she loved her kids. Actually, she adored her kids and we adored you too, because you were small and we were older. She'd let us hold you guys when you were babies. She was always sweet, and often made little jokes. She put up with her brothers with grace. They were always teasing her. "Ask me if I care." Who could forget.

Those are the things that I remembered about you mother (:

Nicholas Snyder

I am realizing that I do remember things about my mom, not a lot of specific memories of events, but there are things I remember about her.

If she didn't like something she said it was "The Pits." She liked Neil Diamond.

She used to scratch my back when I was a kid. I specifically remember her doing that in church. It always felt so good, and made me feel loved. I always felt a lot of love from her.

We didn't get in trouble much. We were good kids. I remember she would get tired of us making noise and running around the house, so she would put us on "outside restriction." We had to go play outside and give her some peace and quiet.

She made the worlds best funnel cakes. She got a funnel cake pitcher, which had a funnel spout, from Knott's Berry Farm. She told people that was were she got it, but not to get the funnel cake mix because it was the pits.

One day a Mexican man came to our house in need of help. I remember her speaking spanish to him for a while. She went to the hall closet an got him some blankets, she went to the kitchen and got him some food. I think she left the door to try and do something else for him, and when she came back he was gone.

My mom went on a Spanish speaking mission in Florida for the Mormon Church. She learned to speak Spanish fluently. Someone told me that when my mom found out she was dying she regretted not teaching us spanish. I remember she always used to say "¿dónde están mis llaves?" and

"cerra la puerta."

I remember whenever I had to go to the dentist on the way home we would stop at McDonalds. She would let me get whatever I wanted. I always got a chocolate milkshake and fries, and dipped the fries in the shake. If you haven't tried that you should. If I the dentist had given me Novocain the milkshake would run down my numb face.

She was an awesome mom. She made me want to be a good kid, and I was. She taught me how to be a good person. She was my best friend. I miss her very much.

-Nick.

Loretta Leavitt

Hey Nick,

It was good to see you the other day. I thought I’d send a quick note with a couple of the stories we talked about.

The classic story we’ve all heard before: For many years, your folks only had one car. And that was the case when they bought the house in El Cajon with you as just a newborn babe. One day, I came over to the house for a visit and your mom needed to go to the bank. We loaded everybody up in the car and headed over. I don’t remember which bank it was, but it was by the post office, there in El Cajon. Your mom went in to do her banking, and I stayed in the station wagon with the kids… Lucretia, Adam, Aaron and YIKES!!! It was then that I realized you were missing. And I couldn’t get all of you out of the car and into the bank, so I waited on pins and needles until your mom came out so we could rush back to the house. And there you were, safe and sound in your crib, none the worse for the wear, but both me and your mom had aged about 10 years from fright. Needless to say, it was still quite new to your mom to be toting three kids rather than just two.

Dorothy’s thermometer was exactly the opposite from the rest of us. During the winter, we’d gear up and keep busy with crafts, cooking and sewing. Not her. It wasn’t until the summer time and the temperatures got into the triple digits that she perked up. She’d be busy with any number of projects – sewing, cooking, and the rest of us would be just slugs in the heat. Sounds like you’re just like her, Nick.

A little bragging… Back in the day, the church had a “young marrieds” group. There were several of us couples who would get together for date night (none of us could afford to go pay for a sitter and dinner and/or a movie!) We’d rotate houses and bring treats to share. The kids would play together and we’d play games – board games, mostly, but one of our favorites was Password. Your mom and I always wanted to be on the same team. We were so much in snyc – mind to mind – that we could often guess the word with just one clue. And in fact, there were times when we guessed the password without a single clue being spoken. Your dad and Jim hated that, but we loved it. Such great fun.

Jim and I were married in February. We started going to church shortly after that (he had been inactive) and I was baptized in May of that year. Your folks were married, as you know, in December and lived in an apartment on Leslie, I think it was. Anyway, when they first started coming to the old El Cajon 3rd Ward, I remember Dorothy being so friendly. We hit it off right away, and your folks invited me and Jim over for dinner after church on Sunday. I remember that they made pork chops and that it was the beginning of our eternal friendships. We had our babies together, my miscarriages together, Anna’s adoption, then the rough stuff – Jim’s illness and death and your mom’s last years. I miss her all the time.

I’ll stop for now, but will send more later. I hope this project brings you joy and helps you find fond memories of your mom. She was my best friend. I can’t imagine what my life would have been if I had missed knowing her.

~Lorretta

Shirley Basset

Oh my gosh, where to start. I remember when I was a little girl, I just loved Dorothy! I wanted to be with her every second. I remember one time in particular when I was at your mom and dad’s apartment I wanted to watch Dorothy put on makeup or wanted to know what she was doing in the bathroom. I guess she was in the shower and I walked in on her. She got a little upset with me, but it didn’t last long. I think I just surprised her. I don’t know, I just know that she loved me and it was okay. She didn’t care! J

I also remember how she used to call me “Ann”. It was never “Hi Shirley”, it was always “Hi Ann” or “Hello Ann”. (Which is my middle name.) I didn’t like it, but really I did! J

I remember how much she loved her little kids. I especially remember how she would pat Adam’s back really hard. She knew how much he loved that! Lu, you were her little princess. Nick, I remember how when she was expecting you, I guess the other kids wanted you to be called Santa Claus because you were due in December. It was no surprise that you were named Nicolas. Oh my gosh how she loves you guys!

I loved your mother’s smile and her attitude in life. She truly didn’t let things bother her too much, at least not on the surface. Not what I saw and not the person I knew. I loved her sense of humor, her laugh, and the love she always showed me. She always made me feel special. Even when she was so very sick, she surprised me and came to my bridal shower. That was pretty neat! I didn’t think she would be able to come.

I remember she had great faith and great courage in adversity. I know this is crazy, but I remember when she got her breast reduction surgery…she was so proud! She just lifted up her shirt and showed me her new boobies and was so proud of them! She was so dang funny! I was so not prepared for that! But, it was pretty funny.

It was you three kids and Aunt Dorothy who introduced me to a bowl of ice cream with popcorn and chocolate chips on the top. I honestly had never had that before or since! But I have thought about it! Yummy!

Oh…whenever she’d see a “DIP” sign and your dad was in the car it meant “Daddy is Perfect’. She said, “No, Dorothy is Precious!” Or, “Dorothy is Pretty”! And she was right! Sorry Wayne!

My memories of your mom are fading too. I will update you when I think of things. I want you each to know that she is a very special lady. She loves you still and I am sure she is proud of you. I know that if she had the choice to stay, she would have stayed here with you/us much longer. I can’t help but think that her spirit was such a valiant one that she was desperately needed on the other side of the veil. The Lord’s work continues on the other side of the veil; I know this to be true.

Though her time with us was short, I appreciate the times that I had to be with her and feel of her love for me and for you and your family. I was not able to attend her funeral service and still have not ever been able to identify where she is buried, but hope someday I will know. I look forward to seeing her again someday and giving her a great big huge hug. I miss her! I love her! And I know you do too.

I love you guys!

-Shirley

"I had her all to myself", Aaron Leavitt

Nick, this is the earliest memory I have of your mom. I'm sure I will think of some others in time.

I was about four years old when this happened. It was time for our family to sign papers to adopt Anna-mariah. Dorothy came with us to watch after me while my parents took care of the paper work. I remember playing with Dorothy in the courtyard of the office building. She had got me some of those mini chocolate doughnuts, and we were watching the fish in the Koi pond. I don't really know why I remeber that, but I suppose it was beacuse it was special to have Dorothy all to myself.


Take care, Aaron